For Marion - 1978
God we've had our differences. The memories of late night arguments (Where were you? What were you doing? Don't you know how I worry?) come back to me every time I walk through the door of my dark, quiet house late in the evening. I remember the morning cold shoulders, breakfast in silence, the "if looks could kill" expression on your face every time I'd displease you. I didn't do it on purpose. We were just so different.
We were so much alike. Birds of a feather just can't roost together. I would do and do and do for you, trying to make up for the negative in our relationship; trying to appease you. I did try. I just never saw that you were trying, too.
How did you feel? Destroyed because I couldn't always return your love in a way you could understand; couldn't share the things that meant so much to you? Hurting because my soul was so obviously in turmoil and I wouldn't let you help? I was hurting, too. I didn't know how to let you know it.
Parting was sweet sorrow, but it made us so much closer. I eagerly anticipate our times together. It's a long drive to see you, but it's worth it. I do so love you.
You were the first woman I ever loved and the most important woman in my life. I've matured now, I can say that to your face and accept your embrace without shrugging you off. I do see that you did so much for me. You tried and tried when others would have given up, when I had given up. You gave me an example to live by, an example to love by, an example by which to judge myself. I think I'm a lot like you. If we could do it over again, I'd try to do it different, do it better; but I don't know that it would turn out that way.
I'm sorry for my anger and my temper and my refusal to let you into my life during the times when you most needed me and I most needed you. I'm sorry for the past, the hurt; which probably wasn't as much as it seems, but which casts a shadow over everything else. And I'm grateful for the present, for the joy that we share, for the love which is so abundant now and so willingly accepted, and so admittedly needed.
I wish you happiness and a safe journey through your life. May what time we have left on earth be spent as soul-mates. I love you, Mom.
We were so much alike. Birds of a feather just can't roost together. I would do and do and do for you, trying to make up for the negative in our relationship; trying to appease you. I did try. I just never saw that you were trying, too.
How did you feel? Destroyed because I couldn't always return your love in a way you could understand; couldn't share the things that meant so much to you? Hurting because my soul was so obviously in turmoil and I wouldn't let you help? I was hurting, too. I didn't know how to let you know it.
Parting was sweet sorrow, but it made us so much closer. I eagerly anticipate our times together. It's a long drive to see you, but it's worth it. I do so love you.
You were the first woman I ever loved and the most important woman in my life. I've matured now, I can say that to your face and accept your embrace without shrugging you off. I do see that you did so much for me. You tried and tried when others would have given up, when I had given up. You gave me an example to live by, an example to love by, an example by which to judge myself. I think I'm a lot like you. If we could do it over again, I'd try to do it different, do it better; but I don't know that it would turn out that way.
I'm sorry for my anger and my temper and my refusal to let you into my life during the times when you most needed me and I most needed you. I'm sorry for the past, the hurt; which probably wasn't as much as it seems, but which casts a shadow over everything else. And I'm grateful for the present, for the joy that we share, for the love which is so abundant now and so willingly accepted, and so admittedly needed.
I wish you happiness and a safe journey through your life. May what time we have left on earth be spent as soul-mates. I love you, Mom.
posted by Lynnie - LaughingBasset at 8:04 PM
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